Friday 14 April 2017 by Gary Stanton

Man who objected to use of massively destructive weapons drops massively destructive weapon


Trump drops MOAB

A man who complained about the use of nasty chemical weapons a week ago has dropped a bomb that kills everything within a three hundred meter radius.

US President, Donald Trump, stuck to his pledge to bomb the shit out of ISIS, by authorising a weapon that was detected by seismologists in nearby California.

As well as extinguishing all terrorist human life within the blast zone, the Mother of All Bombs (MOAB) is also really bad for the environment.

However, an unwelcome consequence of its use is its ability to destroy any trace of irony within a thousand-mile radius.

White House spokesman, Sean Spicer, said, “The so-called MOAB smart bomb is able to distinguish between peace-loving civilians and bloodthirsty terrorists, leaving the former intact and safely tucked up in their beds.

“The resulting ten kiloton explosion was as powerful as the one that took out a dance studio on the Wirral.

“We had to test it somehow. Anyway, satellite imagery suggests New Ferry was a shit-hole way before that.”

He added, “There is absolutely no parallel between the butcher Assad, who used a deadly weapon to kill his enemies, and our freedom-loving President, who used a different kind of deadly weapon to kill his enemies.”

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