Star Wars fan Simon Williams has confidently announced he knows exactly what will happen in the Last Jedi from three words and a succession of disjointed, context-free images.
In his review, Simon said he was pleased it bucked the trend of showing the best bits in the trailer – or indeed anything of interest at all.
Speaking on a hastily prepared reaction video, Williams explained that now the Whills are canon the plot will revolve around a migration away from light and dark to the Bendu.
Friends say they wish Simon would get out more, as sitting at home shouting ‘Wooo!’ more than a drunken hen party about the trailer on his vlog is getting a bit worrying now.
“It’s obvious we’re heading towards the fulfilment of the prophecy about balance being brought to The Force,” he told us.
“If you don’t get that from Luke saying ‘Just Breathe’ like a slightly creepy yoga instructor and Rey falling over you can’t be a proper fan of Star Wars.
“God, have you people no lives?” he added.