Thursday 13 April 2017 by Pete Redfern

Daily Mail to only libel individuals who can’t afford expensive lawyers from now on


Paul Dacre

After paying out damages and costs to the wife of a billionaire over the publication of a libellous article, the Daily Mail has promised that it won’t be making that mistake again in a hurry.

The tabloid had printed an article in August of last year claiming that Melania Trump had previously worked as an escort, an error of judgement which resulted in the former model filing a lawsuit against them for damages of £120m.

Editor in chief of utter bollocks Simon Williams told reporters outside the High Court “We are pleased that this matter is now resolved, even if it has left us a little out of pocket.

“We admit that we were wrong to print that article. Obviously not because of the content – we will always stand by our longstanding modus operandi of printing our opinions as facts – but rather because of the wealth of the woman we wrote about.

“Well, her husband anyway.”

He went on, “We have learnt a couple of valuable lessons. Firstly, the wife of a billionaire can afford some seriously good lawyers. Secondly, suggesting that the First Lady of America once had sex for money can result in negative attention being drawn to our honourable newspaper.

“Therefore we promise to henceforth only focus our stories on individuals we can confidently take on in court.

“I just hope those benefits cheats and immigrants aren’t scrounging as much money as we say they are.”

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