Thursday 6 April 2017 by Spacey

Win Nigel Farage’s Union Jack wank sock!


Nigel Farage's wank sock

We’re offering one lucky reader the chance to win former Ukip leader Nigel Farage’s spunk-spangled Union Jack wank sock*.

When Nigel isn’t criticising Justin Welby, he can often be found bashing a bishop of a different kind, and the foot-shaped garment he uses to mop up his pompous nut butter could be yours!

The sock, which is lovingly encrusted with jingoistic jizz from Nigel’s nationalistic nutsack, is a symbol of the freedom, sovereignty and democracy that we already had.

The lucky winner could use it as a pen holder, vase or even a receptacle for the ashes of a loved one or family pet!

Maybe they could fire up their own patriotic plums and add their own populist porridge to Nigel’s flag-waving cock snot!

For your chance to win just answer the following question:

Name one tangible benefit of Brexit

Entries must be in by end of April 2019!

Next week: Win Donald Trump’s piss-soaked prostitute!

*Subject to availability, we hear he’s quite protective of them. Cash equivalent is 1c (in Euros).

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

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