Arsene Wenger is to join ISIS as they’ve not won anything in five years either.
Describing the move as a ‘perfect fit’, Wenger said that ISIS had been promising to break into Europe for years and got absolutely nowhere, so it would be a work environment he’d find just like home.
Speaking about the move, leader Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi said that Wenger had huge experience in managing eleven men with poor offense and huge holes in their defensive capacity, so running the army of the Islamic State wouldn’t be much different to what he was used to.
Like Arsenal, ISIS seek to recruit globally but, also like Arsenal, quickly crumble when faced with quality international competition.
ISIS actually hope that Wenger can improve their results in competition, pointing out that the last time he played Tottenham he held them to a draw – which is more than they can do when they go up against Jewish opposition.
However, both ISIS and Wenger admit that facing Russian opposition is more than they can handle after serious defeats at both Chelsea and Aleppo.