Tuesday 4 April 2017 by Pete Redfern

‘Grammar Vigilante’ suffers heart attack after reading Britain First Facebook page


Grammar vigilante, Britain First Facebook page

The self-proclaimed ‘grammar vigilante’ from Bristol was rushed to hospital yesterday after accidentally stumbling across the far-right social media page.

The man, who corrects badly punctuated shop signs in the middle of the night, was found slumped across his laptop by a close friend who was able to summon emergency services and rush him to the nearest hospital.

Speaking from his bed in the Bristol Royal Infirmary, the anonymous man told reporters, “I don’t know exactly what happened, but I remember just scrolling through my Facebook news feed and seeing that one of my friends had ‘liked’ a picture of a cute little kitten.

“The picture had a caption which read ‘Click Like if you think this is the cutest kitten on the Internet’.

“And without really thinking, I clicked on the page that had posted it and suddenly I was confronted with a picture of a chap in a turban, with a caption underneath in all capitals yelling something about Muslims ruining ‘are’ country, and complaints about ‘all the Muslim’s demanding Halal Easter egg’s in accordance with Shania Twain’ and I felt a surge of impotent rage before blacking out.”

He continued, “I couldn’t even use my ‘apostrophiser’ to correct any of it without damaging my laptop screen. That’s the worst part about it all.

“Well, apart from their gross stupidity and racism, obviously.”

Doctors have reportedly advised the man to avoid all forms of social media for the rest of his life.

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