Monday 3 April 2017 by Harry Palmer

Man demanding return of blue passports has no intention of ever going anywhere ‘foreign’


man demands blue passport

Leave voter Simon Williams has claimed that the £500m to be spent on reintroducing the blue British passport is worth every penny even though he has no intention of ever applying for one.

“I don’t have one of those burgundy EU passports because they are a symbol of the oppression perpetrated against my country by the unelected bureaucrats that have been running Britain for the last 40 years,” explained the Leeds resident.

“The blue passport tells the world that Britain is back at the top where we belong, and to me, it spells freedom from the faceless dictators in Brussels.

“Not that I’ll be getting one of course, because I hate foreigners and never want to be in their company – never mind being surrounded by them.

“I went to Benidorm about 30 years ago and swore I’d never go back. My mate Dave says that Spanish lager has improved since then, and that they can even do a decent egg and chips, but why take the risk?

“I’ve hardly left Leeds in the last 10 years never mind going abroad. I went to Bradford a couple of years back and that was bad enough.”

Meanwhile, former UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has welcomed the return of the blue passport.

“There’s something special about the blue British passport,” explained Nuttall to reporters.

“I used to have about 6 or 7 different ones when I worked as a special agent for M16. It’s meant to be hush-hush but if you’re interested there’s more about it on my website, probably.”

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