Saturday 1 April 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Concern as Dad starts wearing cycling shorts


Dad gets cycling shorts

There was concern from all areas of the family as it was revealed that Dad had purchased and worn a pair of cycling shorts.

It is understood that the purchase happened nearly a full week ago from an online retailer, possibly Amazon, as Dad had a voucher. However, it is only in recent days that witnesses reported Dad actually wearing the shorts.

“It’s really bad,” reported the elder son.

“I mean, he looks like his middle has been laminated in Lycra. I hope he’s not having some sort of breakdown.”

The younger sister is reportedly too upset to comment and has taken to her bedroom.

Dad made an appearance after news of his purchase had broken across the house. Brazenly wearing the offending attire, he appeared to be attempting to ride the controversy out.

“I think they look fine,” he said, seemingly unconcerned with the dissension from all across the house.

“Ray from the office has got a pair and if we’re going to be doing this work bike-ride thing then I want to look the part now, don’t I?”

As he walked away, he suppressed a wince.

After several hours of uncertainty, Mum has now issued a statement that seems to indicate a formal policy decision regarding the shorts

“He can wear them. But only if he’s actually on the bike.

“And if he sees any of our friends then he’s to hide immediately, and that’s my final word on the bloody things.”

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