Wednesday 29 March 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Theresa May accidentally triggers Article 51, meaning all EU citizens must wear a hat


Theresa May Article 50

There was embarrassment at Number 10 today after it was revealed that, instead of triggering Article 50 that would begin the process of Great Britain leaving the EU, Theresa May had accidentally triggered Article 51, meaning everyone has to wear a hat.

It is understood that Mrs May had been watching ‘All round to Mrs Brown’s’ as she wrote the letter and was briefly distracted, causing her to make the error.

“Yes, we did accidentally trigger article 51,” confirmed a Government spokesperson.

“But rest assured, the Prime Minister is seeking to rectify this as we speak and we do not expect that that everyone will have to wear a hat for more than a week or so.”

Article 51 is an arcane piece of EU legislation that was introduced by the French in 1975. At the time, the famously fashionable French were alarmed at the drabness of their fellow EU citizens’ attire and Article 51 was intended to make everyone a little chicer by wearing a hat or ‘chapeau.’

In the event, it was never triggered and has remained, largely forgotten, until now.

Although the triggering of Article 51 is a setback to Brexit, it could have been worse; Article 47 would mean all EU business would have to be conducted in Iambic Pentameter, Article 32 would decree that all EU citizens would have to float at least 10 centimetres above ground, and Article 56 would see legislation brought in to replace MPs with dogs.

But the most embarrassing of all would be if Mrs May had accidentally invoked Article 62, which prevents countries from ‘accepting results of f**king silly, ill-informed referenda held because some self-serving sh*thead wants to cling to power’.

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