Tuesday 28 March 2017 by Davywavy

Canada to legalise marijuana to help them cope with living next to America


Canada to legalise marijuana

Prime Minister Trudeau says his new domestic policy will be to get baked and wait for the neighbours to chill out a bit.

A statement from the Canadian government says they intend to legalise marijuana as quickly as possible because holy shit they’re going to need it.

Drug reform has been a topic in the country for many years, but experts believe the election of President Trump hastened the process – due to Trudeau calling a press conference the day after the US election and asking if anyone had any ‘really strong shit’ they could let him have a bang off.

When told that would actually be illegal, Trudeau was overheard muttering “We’ll see about that” in an off-the-record comment.

Speaking to reporters yesterday, Trudeau said, “Wow, yeah. So. Trump. Trump. Uh, yeah. So I reckon we’ll be needing as much of this stuff as we can get our hands on for a few years, amiright? Amiright?

“But, so, yeah, anyone got any pringles? I feel like I need them just so as I can watch them…watch them..oh, come on, you know. Trump.

“He’s so orange. So. Orange,” he added, before falling over in a fit of giggles.

Canny Canadian retailers have already begun planning regionally-themed flavoured marijuana cigarettes, with a bacon-flavoured mix already extremely popular in advance sales.

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