Tuesday 28 March 2017 by Lucas Wilde

“BREX-TITS!” screams Daily Mail


Dirty Old Man, Daily Mail, Brex-tits

“BREX-TITS” according to the Daily Mail this morning.

The rag that Hitler would have subscribed to made the declaration after two cracking bits of crumpet sat down to discuss the future of the United Kingdom.

“I forget their names, I think one of them is called Maggie, the little tease,” fnarred Daily Mail sub-editor, Simon Williams.

“No doubt they were talking about something jolly important – how to iron a shirt properly or some such, I should imagine. But still, the LEGS and BREASTS and ARSES on those two! They are all DEFINITELY there. Phwoar.”

A spokesperson for Theresa May said, “The Prime Minister is saddened that a serious debate regarding the future of the country has descended into a scene from a Carry-On film.

“That being said, she is more than willing to get her norks out if it means Nicola Sturgeon will shut the fuck up about referendums.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader)

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