Friday 24 March 2017

FBI investigations only bad when they’re looking into someone else, insist Trump supporters


Trump investigated by FBI

The FBI investigating the actions of individuals is only indicative of their guilt when they are investigating someone else, according to Trump supporters today.

Despite repeatedly calling for Hillary Clinton to be locked up because the FBI were looking into her use of email, Trump supporters say that the implications of the FBI looking into the Trump team’s relationship with Russia are completely irrelevant.

Trump supporter Chuck Williams told us, “The FBI obviously have a serious job to do, but looking into whether our President and his campaign team colluded with Russia to steal the election is a completely trivial matter that we should all be ignoring.

“They should be focussing their energy on catching proper criminals, like the old women out there who don’t use email so good.

“I can’t believe my tax dollars being spent trying to work out if Donald Trump is only the President because of the actions of a foreign government – I’m mean, who cares? Crimes don’t get less significant than that.”

The White House responded to news of the investigation by explaining that FBI investigations should only be covered in the news under certain special circumstances.

Press Secretary Sean Spicer told us, “A handy guide is to remember that any headline that includes the words ‘FBI’, ‘Trump’ and ‘Russia’, is always fake news.

“Don’t worry, when we want you to actually pay attention to an FBI investigation, I guarantee we’ll tell you about it.”

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