Thursday 23 March 2017 by Neil Tollfree

NewsThump’s ‘Do the Muslims!’ spam filter breaks down through overuse


NewsThump breaks down

The spam filter that prevents all email, facebook messages and tweets demanding that NewsThump should ‘do the Muslims’ from arriving at NewsThump Towers has broken through overuse.

After spending the past day dealing with huge numbers of messages demanding that NewsThump produces articles criticising Islam, the ‘do the Muslims’ spam-filter exploded, possibly voluntarily.

“One of the challenges of running an Internet-based media organisation is ignoring messages from tinfoil hat-wearing morons with IQs the size of their shrivelled genitals who repeatedly demand that an entire religion should be vilified based on the actions of a few bastards,” said Simon Williams, a spokesperson for the moderately popular ‘topical’ ‘humour’ site.

“So, like many such organisations, we have a highly sophisticated ‘do the Muslims’ spam filter that will automatically ignore all such messages on our behalf.

“Sadly, at times like this, it has to deal with a spectacular amount of dickheadary, and the sheer volume of work created by simpleton racists seems to have caused it to explode.

“Without the ‘do the Muslims’ spam filter, it means that we will have to make time to manually ignore all the ‘do the Muslims’ messages – it’ll be a lot of work, but we feel that we have a responsibility to ignore every single ‘do the Muslims’ message and as such will be setting up shifts to get through them all.

“It is my dream that one day we won’t need the ‘do the Muslims’ spam filter,” Mr Williams smiled sadly.

“But it seems we’re not there yet.”

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