Thursday 23 March 2017

Concern among Trevors that all Trevors will be blamed after Channel 4 claim London attacker was a Trevor


Trevors not to blame

Trevors across the country are today worrying that right-wing nutjobs will be blaming them for the Westminster attack after Channel 4 News claimed the attacker was a Trevor.

In its broadcast last night, Channel 4 News claimed the attack was by a British-born man called Trevor, though it has subsequently stepped back from that claim.

“Well that’s too late now, isn’t it!” said a clearly angry Trevor Matthews from Basingstoke.

“Trevors in the most part are peaceful law abiding citizens, we wouldn’t dream of hurting someone, yet Channel 4 News have recklessly claimed this attack was by a Trevor, allowing us all to be tarred with the same brush.

“Sure, there are a few Trevors out there who are dicks, but that doesn’t mean we all are.

“Obviously I am sickened by yesterday’s attack, as all right-minded Trevors would be, but thanks to Channel 4 News there will now be frothing nutjobs up and down the country calling for all Trevors to be deported.

“Just because we share this arbitrary detail about our identity does not mean we’re all the same.”

Trevor then let out a huge sigh of relief when he was told the attacker was likely a Muslim, before telling us, “See, I knew it.”

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