Wednesday 22 March 2017 by Pete Redfern

Vladimir Putin to be given his own office in White House


Putin to get office in the White House

Donald Trump has today announced that Russian leader and topless macho man Vladimir Putin will be given his own office space within the White House.

It is understood that the office will be adjacent to the office recently allocated by Trump to his object of desire and daughter Ivanka.

Addressing White House reporters, press secretary Sean Spicer announced, “Despite saying during the campaign that he wouldn’t give jobs or security clearance to his children, the president has now decided that it is in America’s best interest for his daughter Ivanka to have her own working space in the White House, and to be given access to secure information.

“In addition, a room will be set aside for Mr Putin should he wish to pop over on a social, non-business, purely recreational visit.”

He continued, “Yes, Ivanka Trump will have security clearance and access to classified information, but she will no official title or salary when she is working in the West Wing – which makes it all ok.

“And it will be much the same for Putin. Er, apart from the security clearance bit. Don’t write that down. And of course he won’t be looking at classified information. No sir, absolutely not. It’ll just be somewhere for Mr Putin to work from when he’s passing through America.”

The FBI and CIA have been unavailable to comment on the announcement, due to their most experienced staff hurrying down to the White House with suitcases full of covert bugging equipment.

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