Wednesday 22 March 2017 by Gary Stanton

ISIS facing civil war over choice of Apple or Microsoft laptops


ISIS split over use of apple or windows laptops

ISIS terrorists are facing an internal civil war over which laptops are the best to bring down an airliner full of infidels, it has emerged.

Analysis of so-called chatter has revealed that a majority of would-be killers favour Apple’s sleek design aesthetic over Microsoft’s more functional, value-for-money approach.

And experts believe the schism could result in them killing each other in increasingly large numbers.

The news follows reports that a young ISIS terrorist was thrown off a very tall building for using a Samsung.

ISIS headbanger, Simon Wil-Yamsa, said, “Although the Apple MacBook Pro retails at £1150, it’s easy to use and fits snugly inside my hand luggage.

“Microsoft products generally offer more bang for your buck, but could be improved by incorporating innovative features like a touch-screen detonator.

“As well as delivering on carnage, both devices offer excellent memory capacity, but I probably won’t be needing most of it.

“I guess you need to strike a balance between killing everyone on board and standing out from the crowd.”

He added, “As for a Hewlett Packard, I wouldn’t be seen dead using one.”

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