Tuesday 21 March 2017 by Davywavy

Insurance companies restrict Richard Hammond to riding ‘nothing faster than a space hopper’


Richard Hammond crashed space hopper

Richard Hammond will not be allowed to drive anything faster than a space hopper because he keeps crashing into things, producers have revealed.

The presenter, who appears on a programme which isn’t Top Gear despite looking exactly like it whilst being slightly less funny, will also be obliged to wear a crash helmet for insurance reasons when doing anything riskier than making a cup of tea or having a bath.

Hammond has suffered a series of accidents over the years, with his recent fall off a bike simply being the most recent.

He was seriously injured from falling out of bed in 2007, suffered cranial injuries twice whilst trying to open a boiled egg in 2009, and almost lost an arm filling his dishwasher in 2010.

We understand that Hammond steps on a rake buried in long grass in his garden and thwacks himself in the face on average twice a week, and is often hit round the head by a plank carried over a careless workman’s shoulder.

In an upcoming episode of his new show, Hammond will feature in an exciting race between a space hopper and a Bugatti Veyron – which he wins as the Veyron is being driven by James May.

BREAKING NEWS: Richard Hammond is understood to have been seriously injured whilst trying to ride a rocket-powered spacehopper along the Panama Canal.

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