Fundamentalists have declared that they are to stop uploading extremist material to YouTube, after finding that it is being shown alongside ads for the Daily Mail.
Extremist Simon Williams shouted angrily, “This is utterly unacceptable! Our group do not want to be associated with the views of some lunatic newspaper!
“Although we consider ourselves pretty right-wing, even we draw the line stuff you see in the Daily Mail.
“I mean, we are a bit scared of them to be honest, and we considered employing Michael Gove as an advisor!
“You don’t know how much of a punch to the stomach it feels when you’ve just uploaded a truly horrific video of us espousing some unspeakably hideous world view, only to find an overlay on it saying ‘DO YOU HAVE UNREASONABLE AND USUALLY CONTRADICTORY VIEWS AND ARE EASILY SUGGESTIBLE!? THEN BUY OUR WORTHLESS PAPER!’.
“We’re trying to make a point here, and it’s being utterly overwhelmed by what is basically a long line of capital letters.
“Our only option is to withdraw from YouTube altogether. We can’t be seen to be associated with the ultra-right-wing, unconsidered views like that of the Daily Mail.
“It besmirches the bad names of ISIS, or whatever they’re called this week, the Taliban and others.
“Honestly, we can’t even blow them up as that would bring about the mind-blowing irony of extremism appearing to bring democracy to the UK!
“I mean, what the hell is going on?!”