Following his second Muslim travel ban being ruled illegal under American law, President Donald Trump has decamped to Washington’s Dulles Airport so he can personally harass Muslims entering the country.
Mr Trump arrived at the airport at 8pm last night armed with placards reading ‘Muslims = shitters’ and ‘Stop Islam’, and began shouting ‘Booo booooo!’ whenever he saw someone with brown skin.
“It was peculiar, I was just flying back from New York after a meeting with clients and this crazy old man just started shouting,” said lawyer Shyam Hussain.
“It was incoherent nonsense mainly, just gibberish. I felt a bit sorry for him initially, he seemed to have had problems dressing himself and clearly had severe psychological issues, but then I realised it was the President of the United States.”
The President remained adamant.
“I will do whatever I can to keep this country safe,” he confirmed, sitting on his foldaway chair with a blanket across his legs as he took a break from shouting racist abuse.
“If these so-called judges in their so-called court won’t enact my so-called law, then I’m prepared to sit here for as long as it takes to consolidate my support with American racists.”
He also revealed there were some advantages to his situation.
“There are some beautiful women at the airport,” he smirked.
“I’m going to move on them like a bitch.”