Thursday 16 March 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Man told he’d won the Internet yet to receive it


Man who won the Internet

A man who was told that he had won the Internet is still waiting to receive it.

Simon Williams of Gloucester was told he had won the internet over a week ago after posting a video of a cat riding a dog to the tune of Boston’s More Than a Feeling.

“I just want to know when I’ll get my Internet,” said Mr Williams, patience clearly eroding.

“I’ve made a space on the mantelpiece for it and everything.”

Mr Williams was unclear on what authority he has been awarded the Internet.

“Well, I assume it was some sort of Internet committee or something. I didn’t think to ask. I mean, if someone tells you you’ve won the Internet, then you assume that they must be pretty high up in Internet circles.”

It is the lack of communication that is most upsetting to Mr Williams.

“Just for the practicalities more than anything, I mean, they’ll probably send it recorded delivery, so I want to make sure I’ve got the day off to stay in and sign for it. I’ve got a life to lead, you know.”

Mr Williams was also left confused by another accolade he’d received for the video.

“I was appointed King of the Internet, I don’t suppose you know if that’s an honorary thing, or if I’ll need to make myself available for ceremonial duties?”

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