Thursday 16 March 2017 by Andrew

Britain better prepared for Quexit than Brexit


The Queen plans for death

Leaked plans for the Queen’s funeral in today’s Guardian have shown that Britain is far better prepared for the death of its monarch than for the decision to leave the EU.

Detailed plans drawn up by civil servants and other officials regarding the death of Elizabeth II, probable at some point in the next decade, cover such vital details as the music that will be played on Radio 1 and what colour tie the BBC’s presenter should wear.

Meanwhile, Brexit minister David Davis has admitted that the government has no idea what the potential economic impact of leaving the EU without a trade deal will be, even though Brexit will be happening in two years’ time.

Davis went on to admit that there was also no decision about what to do about EU citizens living in the UK, British citizens living in the EU, the Northern Ireland border, the status of Gibraltar, banking passporting rights, or how to preserve the union with Scotland, but it is clear from today’s Guardian that at least the exact number of guns that will be fired upon news of the Queen’s death has been decided upon: 41.

It was also revealed that the codeword for civil servants to inform the prime minister of the Queen’s demise will be “London Bridge is down”.

Here at least Davis can claim progress has been made, with ministers having already decided upon a codeword for Brexit: “Britain is fucked”.

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