Thursday 16 March 2017 by Pete Redfern

‘Brexit? I don’t care, I’ll probably be dead soon anyway’ insists Queen


Queen on Brexit

Her Royal Highness has today signed into law the Act of Parliament which will authorise Theresa May to take Britain out of the European Union, saying she probably won’t be around to witness the resultant chaos and she couldn’t really care less anyway.

Her Majesty could have delayed or even overturned Brexit using her sovereign power for the benefit of the country, but at the last minute she evidently just decided to authorise it and wash her hands of the British public and their daft little decisions.

“One has had enough,” she was heard to say to a member of the royal household staff.

“Have you any idea how long one has been on the throne? Sixty-five years! And it’s pretty much been one stupid political decision after another. The war in Iraq? Ok, if you want to. Now Brexit? Fine, why not. Who cares.”

She continued, “One has just decided to roll with it and go with the flow. Knock yourself out, Theresa. See what happens.

“And besides, one expects one will have passed on before it all goes through anyway. Pass the gin, Philip.”

She hastily added, “Whatever happens, that Farage chap won’t be getting a knighthood – one has to draw the line somewhere.”

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