Wednesday 15 March 2017

That’s not how bluffing works, nation tells Brexit minister David Davis


David Davis Brexit impact assessment

After admitting the government has undertaken no economic assessment of the impact of leaving the EU without a negotiated settlement, Brexit minister David Davis has been reminded that this isn’t how bluffing works.

Davis has already made clear to his EU counterparts that the UK would rather walk away without any deal than take a bad deal; though today’s announcement about the UK’s lack of preparedness has led to those same EU counterparts eagerly stroking their chins this evening.

Office worker and Brexiter Simon Williams told us, “I’m no negotiation expert, but if you’re telling the people that you’re negotiating with that you’ll happily walk away without a deal if the terms aren’t good enough, then surely you should have taken a cursory look at the impact of actually walking away without a negotiated deal?

“I mean, otherwise the other side is going to know that you’re just bluffing about walking away, right?

“Look, I’m not an expert, I get my arse handed to me every time I play poker, but even I know that’s not the way you bluff someone.”

However, government officials have been quick to defend Davis’ remarks, explaining that the bluff definitely still stands.

An insider at the Brexit department told us, “You are assuming that any competent government would have looked at the impact of leaving the EU without a negotiated deal before threatening to do it, and that we as a government have chosen not to do that research.

“I’m sorry, but your assumption falls down with the use of the word ‘competent’.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt!

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