Tuesday 7 March 2017

Hogwarts to become a grammar school


Hogwarts to become a grammar school

Hogwarts has announced plans to ensure only the brightest members of the wizarding world are rewarded with the sort of education they have on offer.

With backing from the muggle government, the renowned school of witchcraft and wizardry will only accept students capable of passing a specially adapted 11-plus to prove their academic ability.

One teacher against the proposals told us, “This could be the end of Hufflepuff.

“That house always been a home for the less academically minded who might excel in other areas, but not anymore.

“The big fear, of course, is that the ruthless and rich parents of young wizards and witches will simply throw money at the problem and hire the best tutors to make sure their child gets in.

“Then we’ll just have an entire year made up of Slytherin. And nobody wants that.”

Former students have responded with mixed emotions, with one wizard who graduated nineteen years ago explaining that he wasn’t against selection, per se, but was worried that those children with interests in more extracurricular activities could be at a disadvantage.

“It’s all well and good knowing your potions and magical creatures well enough to pass the 11-plus exam, but what if your destiny lies in hunting Horcruxes when you become a teenager?

“All I’m saying is the world could look very different if you decide to exclude the non-academic kids before they even hit puberty.”

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