Tuesday 7 March 2017 by Gary Stanton

Emma Watson’s tits in bitter Brexit row


Emma Watson's breasts split over Brexit

‘All grown up’ actor Emma Watson’s breasts have fallen out over Brexit, according to reports.

Sources claim the pert duo are no longer happy to be part of the same cleavage after the right one branded the left one “Remoaner scum”.

The pair recently worked together on a Vanity Fair fashion shoot, but things turned nasty during an argument about uncontrolled immigration.

Friends of Watson say that when it comes to the EU, the former Harry Potter star’s tits are split down the middle.

Watson’s left breast said, “As I’ve gradually shifted towards the centre, she has been pushed more to the right.

“However, freedom of movement is very important – especially in our line of work.”

But the right boob rounded on her partner, insisting, “We won. You lost. Get over it.”

Meanwhile, Watson has called on both charlies to stop the infighting and pull themselves together.

Last night, close friend Daniel Radcliffe sought to defuse the row by getting his knob out for Hello magazine.

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