After years of getting the NSA to listen to every conversation in America, Donald Trump’s phone was the only one not being tapped, Barack Obama has told reporters.
Trump, who has accused Obama of ‘putting a wire’ on his phone, was in fact the lucky possessor of the only phone in America that wasn’t being monitored by the security services.
Operatives out of the Utah Data Centre are understood to monitor every phone call in the United States, but they admitted that Trump had been overlooked as they hadn’t realised he was smart enough to remember a four-digit telephone passcode.
“We were very lucky with Donald as he was the only person we weren’t listening to in the entire country,” Obama told us.
“Normally when people are conspiring with a hostile foreign power they try to keep it quiet, but this is a guy who holds national security meetings in a golf course restaurant.
“We didn’t have to work to listen to his private conversations, because he never has any.”
White House staff confirmed that Trump has not made any phone calls since taking office as they replaced the phone on his desk with a Fisher-Price Toy Chatter phone painted red and just shout in a funny foreign accent when he picks it up and dials.