Tuesday 28 February 2017 by Tommy Charles

Jeremy Corbyn accused of anti-Semitism over ongoing ‘Bagelgate’ silence


Jeremy Corbyn bagelgate

Jeremy Corbyn is facing new anti-Semitism claims for apparently refusing to condemn the use of a bagel in the scandal widely known as ‘Bagelgate’.

The iconic bread, which originated in the Jewish communities of Poland, was the catalyst in chaotic scenes filmed on a train over the weekend – culminating in a number of physical confrontations.

Critics of the Labour leader have been quick to highlight his silence on the matter, claiming it’s further proof of his fervent hatred of Jews.

“Clearly, he despises the Jewish community,” said Theresa May.

“Only someone with a burning desire for the eradication of Judaism could possibly remain silent on the sick exploitation of the iconic roll.

“As usual, Jeremy is nowhere to be seen – tacitly implying that he believes the bagel is not in fact the victim, but the perpetrator.

“Having chaired an emergency COBRA meeting this morning, I’ll be introducing a new 500% bagel tax, to discourage such reckless and offensive misuse of this cherished bread.

“The Conservative Party is the true party of traditional Jewish baked goods.”

It is not the first time Mr Corbyn has come under fire for anti-Semitism, having previously stepped on a dreidel at a protest against the closure of an NHS children’s hospice.

Reporters coaxed the MP out from under a rock with some homemade preserves and asked if he could comment on the footage circulating on the internet.

“Is an Internet a type of jam strainer?” Corbyn asked.

“I am not aware of the footage you mention, but I can tell you that I have enjoyed bagels on a number of occasions, so if what you say is true it would truly be an abhorrent waste.

“Bagels actually go very well with some of my delicious strawberry jam, which I will be available to buy on my stall at Glastonbury this year.

“I’ll be setting up on Friday after my vegan funk poetry set in Shangri-La.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: