President Trump will not be attending the White House Correspondents’ dinner this year due to fears that people will make jokes and be mean to him.
America’s premier snowflake said he will break a 35-year tradition by avoiding the dinner in April because his skin is as thin as the margin of his electoral victory.
“Jokes are fake news,” confirmed the president, before going on to explain that comedians all work for the liberal establishment.
“Making up jokes that aren’t true is so SAD, they just can’t help losing!!” clarified Trump on Twitter later in the evening.
White House correspondent Chuck Williams told us, “Trump has always said he’s trying to channel the spirit of Reagan’s presidency and to be fair, Ronald Reagan was the last president to miss the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, back in 1981.
“Of course, Reagan did so because he’d recently been shot, whereas Trump is doing so merely because he’s terrified of a particularly barbed zinger.
“He truly is Reaganesque in his bravery.”