Leicester City FC has taken the unusual step of sacking their match-day catering team after they failed to turn water into wine.
Despite creating meals that defied all expectations last season, the fact that miracles have not literally been performed this season was enough.
Vice-chairman Aiyawatt Srivaddhanaprabha told reporters, “Last season we handed the catering team a couple of loaves and some fish and they created a series of match-day delicacies that delighted everyone at the King Power Stadium.
“But this year, no matter how many jugs of water we provided, they didn’t create one drop of wine. That is simply unacceptable by the standards of Leicester City.
“They used excused like one of their most important chefs being poached by Chelsea, but frankly they should be accepting responsibility.
“Leicester is the place of miracle, and if you can’t keep delivering them, we’ll show you the door.”
The vacant position has been advertised as seeking applicants with a solid track record of ‘healing lepers’ or ‘walking great distances over water’.