The fairies have inexplicably failed to take away an old washing machine left on the street.
The old washing machine was left on the street corner in the early hours for the magical goblins who dispose of such things to spirit away to their wonderful broken appliance fairyland.
Simon Williams, who left his old washing machine out at 3 am, expressed surprise that it had not been mysteriously twinkled away by the helpful woodland folk.
“You have to sneak your old crap out of the house beneath the light of the moon, as that helps with the magic,” he told us.
“And then you place it in the verdant undergrowth by the side of the road before dancing round it thrice widdershins and then legging it sharpish before the council catch you.”
Praising the gnomes and brownies of the hedgerow, Simon said that without their helpful sorcery disposing of his rubbish he might have to pay to use a proper dumpit site like a normal human being.