Wednesday 22 February 2017 by Neil Tollfree

President Trump appoints Captain America as new National Security Advisor


Donald Trump, Captain America, National Security Advisor

President Trump has surprised Washington by appointing World War II veteran and artificially enhanced super soldier Captain America to replace Michael Flynn as his new National Security Advisor.

Although the choice was unexpected, Captain America does have considerable experience with defeating the Red Skull and being encased in ice for half a century – skills that President Trump clearly sees as crucial to his administration.

“It’s just great news to have the Captain on board, folks. Really great news,” said President Trump after making the announcement.

“His experience may be largely dealing with fictional threats to the US, but fictional threats to the US are my main focus too.

“He’s also got a star and stripes on his shield, and that just goes to show how American he is. He’s really, really American.”

It is understood that Mr Trump will be keen for Captain America to bring Iron Man Tony Stark into the administration, because he knows lots and lots of pretty girls.

Following the announcement of Captain America’s appointment, a man briefly appeared onstage dressed in the uniform of the Captain, but was hastily ushered away after being heard to say “El señor pedo dijo que si me pongo esto no me enviará de nuevo a los cartels.” Which roughly translates as “Mister Trump said if I wear this he won’t send me back to the cartels.”

It is unknown whether or not this was the genuine Captain America.

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