Wednesday 22 February 2017 by Gary Stanton

Millionaire suicide bomber thought to have received poor financial advice


Financial advisor for suicide bomber

British suicide bomber Jamal Al Halrith may have received unsound financial advice prior to blowing himself up in a jeep.

The former Guantanamo prisoner chose to close his account in spectacular fashion at an army base in Mosul yesterday rather than investing his money in something sensible like property.

Al Halrith, 38, is known to have approached financial advisers at Williams, Lamb and Thornton to ascertain the best use of taxpayers’ money in a difficult financial climate.

However, it emerged that advisors failed to inform Al Halrith that buying a big fuck-off jeep and stacking it full of explosives was an unwise investment.

Financial Advisor, Simon Williams, said “Had we know he was going to do this, we might have suggested a different course of action, like one of the government’s new tax-free ISAs.

“Some of these pay a twenty-five percent bonus at the end of each year, although anyone considering martyrdom needs to read the small print.

“We also discussed a number of other options such as bonds, but at that point Mr Al Halrith’s eyes seemed to glaze over.”

Williams added, “Also, the jeep he used was an AUDI, which is just frivolous in my book.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: