Monday 20 February 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Sweden offers to show Donald Trump how to build a cabinet


Donald Trump cabinet from IKEA

Sweden has taken pity on Donald Trump and provided easy to follow instruction on how to build a cabinet.

The sputtering shit-gibbon has made a series of blunders recently, including the assertion of a terror attack in Sweden that never happened.

“And it’s all because he doesn’t have a decent cabinet,” confirmed Swedish furniture builder, Sven Williamsen.

“We laughed at him at first, but then we felt sorry for him. So we’re going to help; because Swedes are some of the nicest, sexiest people on earth. That’s just science.

“We’ve got an easy, step-by-step guide for him to put together a cabinet of which he can be proud; and Betsy Devos doesn’t need to be anywhere near it, thank Christ.

“It’s hard to fathom why he struggled so badly in the first place. I built my first cabinet at the age of three. I whittled it out of an old boat. We didn’t even have Allen keys back then.”

A spokesperson for President Trump said, “The President is grateful for the offer of help from Sweden, especially as they are no doubt still putting out fires and comforting relatives after whatever happened last night.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: