Monday 20 February 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Defiant Swedes march with Allen Keys held high


Allen Keys

Sweden has responded to that thing that happened the other night with a heartwarming display of national pride and unity.

Thousands of people gathered in Stockholm to march in solidarity, with Allen keys and flatpack furniture held high above their heads.

“We can fix this, and we will fix it, with Allen keys,” confirmed noble Swede, Sven Williamsen.

“I have no idea what happened last night – none of us do – but it sounds like it was pretty bad. But it’s nothing that can’t be fixed; for in Sweden, everything is fixable. Because we built everything with Allen keys.

“I’d like to take a moment to thank President Trump for drawing our attention to the thing that happened in our own country without any of us noticing, and invite him to join us on our next march of solidarity, presuming he can find his way through the walls of terrorists that apparently infest our remarkably quiet streets.

“And while he’s here, we’ll show him how one successfully puts a cabinet together.”

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