Monday 13 February 2017

Producers of Channel 4’s The Jump growing impatient at wait for first fatality


The Jump Channel 4

The producer’s of Channel 4’s reality show The Jump have today revealed their impatience at the length of time it is taking for someone to be killed.

As series 4 continues filming, insiders claim there is mounting frustration that hurling celebrities off the side of a mountain has yet to deliver the viral hit they all seek.

A show insider told us, “We’ve had an Olympic gymnast break her neck, an Olympic swimmer dislocate her shoulder, and now an Olympian Knight of the Realm breaking his leg – but seriously, no-one cares about these relatively minor injuries.

“If we’re going to do any good in the ratings it means either death or shagging. And it’s a bit too cold to expect much shagging in front of the cameras.

“Also, much to the dismay of the showrunners, the resort have told us it’s apparently ‘logistically complicated’ to point the end of the jump over a deathly precipice.

“I guess we’ll just have to keep our fingers crossed that the nation is willing to tune in purely on the hope of seeing that posh twat from Made in Chelsea lose all his teeth ploughing nose-first into the floor at forty miles an hour.”

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