Sunday 12 February 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Donald Trump signs order to ban refloated New Zealand whales coming to America


Donald Trump executive order

US President Donald Trump has signed a new executive order that will ban any of the whales refloated from New Zealand from trying to enter America.

After 200 beached whales were refloated from Farewell Spit beach, Mr Trump has been concerned that they would make their way to the US and attempt to land at one of the more exposed beaches on the west coast.

“We’ve got to protect ourselves, folks,” said the micro-handed sex pest.

“These whales? We don’t know what their intention is, why they want to get on to land. They could be bad whale dudes. Very bad whale dudes.

“This executive order will protect ordinary Americans against whales. Not Wales, the country Wales, you understand. Although, we should probably look into that place as well; could be Muslims there.

It is understood that the Administration’s greatest fear is that they could be Islamic whales.

“Listen, I’ve got nothing against the filthy Muslims,” continued the ‘President’.

“But if these are some sort of Islamist terrorist whales intent on doing us harm then that’s the just the worst scenario folks, the worst scenario.”

A representative from the judiciary reacted to the new order with incredulity.

“Islamic terrorist whales?” he exclaimed.

“That’s even more stupid than – No, the Muslim travel ban is still the stupidest thing.”

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