Saturday 11 February 2017 by Neil Tollfree

New Shadow Treasury Secretary is woman Jeremy Corbyn met in Aldi


Jeremy Corbyn Cabine reshuffle

The 409th shadow cabinet reshuffle of the past year has seen appointed to the post of Shadow Treasury Secretary a woman Jeremy Corbyn met in Aldi while doing his weekly big shop.

The speed in which Eleanor Gay, 46, was promoted to a senior position in Mr Corbyn’s shadow cabinet has surprised many, as only yesterday morning she was a driving instructor in the North London area.

“Well, I’m honoured, obviously,” said Ms Gay.

“Sadly I won’t be able to start until lunchtime on Tuesday because I’ve got an eleven o’clock with a young lad whose got his test on Wednesday.”

Ms Gay went on to explain how she came to be appointed Shadow Treasury Secretary.

“I was in Aldi stocking up on their gin – which is surprisingly good given their frugal reputation – and all of sudden this chap came up to me and asked if I’d got any qualifications in maths.

“Well, it was Jeremy Corbyn, so I told him that I had. I’d got an O-level, but that was quite a time ago and I wasn’t sure how much I remembered, he said it wasn’t that important and would I like to be Shadow Treasury Secretary.

“So I said yes.”

It is understood that the new Shadow Business Secretary is bloke from the pub who occasionally sells a few knick-knacks on eBay.

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