Both teachers and parents have agreed that Parents’ Evening will be held in the pub from now on for the sake of all concerned.
The evenings, which everyone feels compelled to attend but nobody actually likes, seem to take forever and participants think that things might at least appear to go faster with the application of a few pints.
The change is being implemented after education authorities realised that events are currently an experience of existential despair on both sides of the desk.
“This is a move both sides need,” said Education spokesman Simon Williams.
“As a parent, if your kid is doing well you don’t need to pay attention to what is being said, and if your kid is doing badly then chances are you won’t pay much attention whatever is said.
“And as a teacher, if you’re drinking less than four units of alcohol as day then clearly the Department of Education isn’t doing its job properly.”
He was then interrupted by a teacher in the audience who pointed out that he should have said fewer than four units of alcohol a day, before taking a deep swig from a hipflask.