Friday 3 February 2017

Bad Dudes pledge not to rescue Donald Trump if he’s kidnapped by DragonNinja


Bad dudes

Donald Trump’s negative comments about ‘Bad Dudes’ have alienated the tough crime-fighting duo, according to reports today.

The tough guys rose to prominence thanks to a rampant wave of ninja-related crime in the late 1980s during which even the White House was not safe, culminating in their rescue of President Ronnie after he was kidnapped in 1988.

The two, codenamed Blade and Striker, were all that stood between America and anarchy with their ability to perform spinning kicks and flame-punches.

Press photos at the time show the pair eating burgers with the President in what is seen by many historians as the absolute peak of the Americans-in-parachute-pants-and-gym-shoes-kicking-Ninja-ass-and-taking-names era which preceded the fall of the Iron Curtain.

However, Trump pledging to clamp down on Bad Dudes has led to them coming out of retirement to put their side of the story.

“He just keeps saying that we contribute nothing to the economy, we do crimes, all that stuff,” said Blade from his mountainside gym in Montana.

“For Christ’s sake. We beat up literally hundreds of Ninja who were running rampage across the country – including, might I add, guys with claws for hands and people who’d full-on set themselves on fire to stop us.

“And now we see our President making friendly with that fat Russian we slugged at the end of the first wave and saying we were the bad guys.

“Screw him. If a fire-breathing Dragon-guy riding a helicopter kidnaps him, he’s on his own.”

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