Thursday 2 February 2017 by Davywavy

Khorne the Blood God to embrace veganism


Khorne Blood God

Khorne the Blood God is to replace his controversial Skull Throne with one made of Broccoli after criticism from PETA.

Khorne has come under fire in recent days for his use of animal parts for food, clothing, furniture, art, interior decor and entertainment and is understood to have accepted that his regalia might upset modern sensibilities.

In a statement, Khorne acknowledged that blood is utterly tremendous and he respects those who choose to continue to consume it, but he has been persuaded to stop by the moral implications.

The Lord of Skulls – or Lord of Sprouts as he’s asked to be renamed – intends to keep his role as master of ceaseless carnage throughout the Universe whilst bringing an ethical sensibility to his ravening legions of insane horror.

Bloodthirsters, demons of Khorne, will adopt the name Kalesmoothiethirsters, but hastened to reassure doubters they would be no less utterly terrifying despite the change – although Skulltaker, the mightiest of all, will be replacing the skulls on his cape with cabbages.

“Tofu for the Tofu God still sounds pretty fuc- sorry, flipping terrifying”, we were told by Joe Rooney, High Priest of both slaughter and carrots.

“So we think there’s real room for spreading galaxy-wide conflict to the undeserving whilst maintaining a strict regimen of vitamin B12 supplements and nutritionally optimal meals.”

“There is no peace, there is only time wasted between CrossFit sessions!” he added.

When asked, Tzeentch, Chaos God of Change, said that he agreed that change is good but even he couldn’t help but feel this was probably taking things too far.

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