Wednesday 1 February 2017 by Alex Webster

Petrol price increases due to weak Pound and there not being a lot left, say experts


Petrol station

People are once again baffled by the inexplicable rise in the value of something that is about to run out forever.

Today energy experts predicted that fuel prices will rise to an all-time high in 2017.  

One researcher told reporters, “It’s due to the reduced value of Sterling, political instability in oil producing regions and increased demand from emerging economies.  

“The fact that it can only be made out of dead dinosaurs is also a bit of a problem.

“Basically, we’re really, really hoping someone will invent cold fusion by March.”

Motorist Simon Williams commented, “Like anything to do with cars, this makes me really angry towards to government and other road users, for some reason.

“I completely understand that fossil fuels are dwindling fast and renewable energy sources will never cover the deficit their absence will create, but that’s no reason for fuel prices to go up, surely?  Tax!  I bet it’s the bloody tax!”

Scientists predict that the cost of energy won’t drop until people stop doing stupid things with it, like driving their kids to a school that is a 15-minute walk away, or ‘glamping’.

Mr Williams continued, “I saw a film once where they created dinosaurs in a lab.  Can’t we just do that?”

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