Wednesday 25 January 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Jeremy Corbyn will not oppose Article 50 because it sounds like hard work


Jeremy Corbyn on Article 50

Labour ‘leader’ Jeremy Corbyn has announced that he will not frustrate the triggering of Article 50 because he can’t be bothered.

The 16 million people who voted to remain in the EU had hoped that the official opposition party may actually do some opposing when it comes to plans to inflict dire financial and social consequence on the country but Jeremy Corbyn isn’t really interested in that sort of thing.

“Well, for a start, Jeremy did some politics a few weeks ago, so I can’t imagine he’ll fancy doing anything else for at least another month or so,” said Simon Williams, an aide to Jeremy Corbyn whose picture appears in the dictionary underneath the entry for exasperation.

“Then you’ve got the whole thing of trying to win over people who disagree with you by using cogent argument – Jeremy finds that sort of thing an awful lot of bother.

“And of course, the EU is awfully complex and very hard to boil down into traditional socialist dogma, so Jeremy’s just going to watch old Columbo repeats instead.”

Mr Williams took time to reveal the Labour leader’s plans for the year.

“Well, his immediate plans are to go and stand in front several thousand people while they chant ‘Jez we can’ at him. He always enjoys that.

“Then I’d imagine we’ll have another leadership election.”

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