Tuesday 24 January 2017 by Pete Redfern

Theresa May hires Baldrick to discuss ‘cunning plan’ for Brexit


Baldrick cunning plan

The Prime Minister has reportedly hired a grubby little dogsbody named Baldrick as a special advisor after hearing he has a ‘cunning plan’ for Britain’s withdrawal from the EU.

Despite being unequivocally clear that ‘Brexit means Brexit’, Theresa May is yet to outline in specific detail how leaving the single market is going to work in practical terms, so reportedly leapt at the offer of a cunning plan from little-known smelly servant Baldrick.

Mrs May told reporters “Baldrick comes highly recommended by my good friend Edmund Blackadder, who tells me he has been wittering on about a ‘cunning plan’ for years and that I am welcome to use his services if it means Blackadder gets a bit of a break from the annoying little twerp for a while.

“So I thought, let’s give it a go, what have we got to lose?”

It is understood that Baldrick, whose first name is rumoured to be ‘Sod off’, will meet with the Prime Minister within a few days.

Attempts to contact Baldrick for comment were unsuccessful, but his friend and pie shop owner Mrs Miggins told reporters, “I expect the cunning plan will involve turnips, as that is Baldrick’s area of expertise.”

She added, “Although I did hear Baldrick say something the other day about there being this new-fangled thing called an EU single market, which makes it easier for member states to trade with one another.

“So I reckon a big part of his cunning plan will be Britain joining that, for a start.”

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