Monday 23 January 2017 by Neil Tollfree

PM pledges the Government will not buy any more Trident missiles off eBay


Trident replacement on eBay

Prime Minister Theresa May has admitted that the Trident missile which veered off course during a test last year was obtained from a buyer on eBay.

This morning she attempted to draw a line under the matter by issuing a pledge that the British Government will not buy any more Trident missiles or, indeed, white elephants of any kind from the auction site.

“It’s a shame because we thought that we’d found a reliable, cost-effective Trident missile supplier. Could have saved the British taxpayer millions,” said a Number 10 insider.

“They even did free delivery.”

The Trident missile listing appeared on eBay at Christmas 2015, possibly an unwanted Christmas present.

“It looked fine, all the photos and everything, it looked like a really good Trident missile. Just the sort of thing we needed.

“Yuri, he was the guy selling it, he was really friendly when we emailed him to check that it would fit in our submarines. Everything checked out.

“I guess we should have suspected it might not have been on the level when he said he didn’t take Paypal. They should always take Paypal.”

The pledge to no longer use Ebay will not affect a planned purchase of a Lockheed Martin F35B Lightning II jet off Amazon Market.

“No, that should be fine,” continued the insider.

“They’ve got a four-star rating, and ship within 4-7 days.

“Result.”

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