Friday 20 January 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Aide very clearly explaining to Donald Trump exactly what ‘swearing in’ means


Donald Trump swearing in

With only a matter of hours to go until Donald Trump is sworn in as America’s 45th president, it is understood that his closest aides have had to take him aside to explain that ‘swearing in’ may not mean what he thinks it does.

“All week, the Donald has just been going around saying the thing he was looking forward to most was standing up in front of millions of people and saying ‘I am the f**king President’,” said a Trump insider.

“Now, we thought that was just Donald being Donald, but we started rehearsing the oath of office and he said ‘I Donald motherf**king Trump, do solemnly c**ting well swear that I will faithfully execute the c**ksucking…’ and it just went on like that.

“And, well, it seems that’s what he thought ‘swearing in’ means.”

It is understood that the confusion arose due to Mr Trump’s policy of never watching anything on television that doesn’t prominently feature him.

“Yeah, I think he’s going to be a little disappointed at the vanilla text,” continued the insider.

“But, you know what? It’ll probably less of a disappointment than when we explained to him that he wasn’t allowed to say ‘Trump luxury hotels; for all your luxury hotel requirements,’ at the end of the oath.

“He is going to be the best President, the best.”

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