Thursday 19 January 2017 by Davywavy

Theresa May bids to meet Donald Trump by entering Miss World and leaving her dressing room door unlocked


Trump to meet Theresa May

Theresa May is trying to get an early meeting with Donald Trump by entering the Miss World competition and leaving her dressing room door unlocked.

The Prime Minister’s team have been sounding out the incoming administration for a meeting as soon as possible, and the consensus is that the fastest way to meet the President-elect is by getting your kit off and tipping him the wink.

Trump has indicated he will be available for a meeting ‘in the spring’, but insiders believe the date can be moved up to within days if she does that special thing he likes with a bucket during the swimsuit round.

The move comes after Angela Merkel started to build bridges with Trump by appearing in Penthouse magazine, and May is understood to be unhappy at being outmanoeuvred during the crucial Brexit period.

The strategy is described by the Conservative party as more dignified than the time Gordon Brown held on to Barack Obama’s leg in a kitchen and cried until Obama spoke to him.

Aware that she has to raise her game, the PM has already chosen her costume for the pageant – which will feature some lovely red leather trousers which are sure to catch Trump’s eye.

Insiders at Number Ten have confirmed that the government’s recent appointment of a ‘Brazilian Advisor’ has nothing to do with trade or even South America, and insisted the ‘exorbitant’ salary demands were reasonable for the demands of the job.

Reports from inside the Labour party indicate that Jeremy Corbyn is also seeking a meeting with the incoming president, and has taken Nigel Farage’s lead and got a tramp stamp.

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