Thursday 19 January 2017

Obama family to spend final day in White House sewing fish into the curtains


Obama family white house

As Barack Obama’s time as President comes to an end, he revealed that the final day in the White House will be a busy one.

“We want to give Mr Trump the welcome he deserves,” said the outgoing President before going on to explain that he had bought a variety of fish from the Washington Market and, with the help of his wife and daughters, intended to sew them into the bottom of curtains around the White House.

“This way, when Mr Trump arrives everything will seem normal, but over the following week, a pungent smell of rotting fish with permeate the entire building,” he explained.

“Which is probably a good metaphor for the incoming President’s term in office.”

The fish are not the only welcome planned for Mr Trump.

“No, Joe has spent the day going around ‘using’ all the bathrooms and not flushing afterwards, and trust me, that is a stink you don’t want to know about.”

The entire White House computer network has had Twitter blocked, all the mirrors have been replaced with full-sized pictures of Trump with his hair dishevelled, and someone’s let a hippo loose in the grounds.

“It was important to me that I continued to serve the people of America up until the moment I leave office,” said Mr Obama

It is understood that a plan from Michelle to replace the chairs in the Oval Office with spikes was vetoed for going a little too far.

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