Wednesday 18 January 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Brexiter demands to know why he can’t still use treadmill at Gym he left


Gym treadmill brexiter

A Brexit voter has been left angry after discovering he can’t make use of the facilities at his local gym after choosing to no longer be a member.

Simon Williams, 34, made the discovery after waltzing into the gym for a good, old-fashioned, British workout; or ‘ten minutes on the treadmill and a Mars bar out of the vending machine’ to the rest of us.

“They’re being deliberately obtuse. They’re just bitter that I left,” declared Williams, in a non-whiny, non-snowflake fashion.

“All of the people who are still members of the gym are still allowed to make use of all of the facilities, surprise fucking surprise. It’s just one big club, isn’t it?”

Gym manager, Jay Cooper, said, “Mr Williams is correct. We are a club. A fitness club, to be precise.

“And no, he can’t use the treadmill or even pass through the turnstile if he’s not a member. That’s not how any of this works.

“Mr Williams is welcome to attend some of our publicly available classes, but obviously our members will be given first refusal on these as they’re all paying membership fees to be here.”

Williams has made similar complaints that he can’t take books from his library without his library card, that he can’t watch things on Netflix without paying the monthly fee, and he can no longer borrow films from Blockbuster as they folded in 2013.

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