Wednesday 18 January 2017 by Gary Stanton

Big fuck off alligator heading for Trump inauguration


Alligator heading to Trump Inauguration

A big fuck off alligator with a taste for thin-skinned Republicans is making its way to Washington for Donald Trump’s inauguration.

Alligator, Simon Williams, purchased a one-way bus ticket from Florida to Washington, telling the driver to ‘make it snappy’.

The twelve-metre long leathery killing machine has booked a front row seat and hopes to grab a bite to eat before the swearing-in.

President-elect Donald Trump said, “I like alligators, I think they’re great. We have the best alligators folks. Seriously.

“What could possibly go wrong?”

Everglades resident, Williams, had originally hoped to be seated next to Nancy Reagan, but now expects to be lumped next to Sarah Palin.

Williams said, “For the record: I really like neo-Nazis, I just couldn’t eat a whole one.”

He added, “I’m told this guy wants to drain the swamp. We’ll see about that.”

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