Tuesday 17 January 2017

‘Isn’t this exciting’ claims woman doing thing she said would be ‘a disaster’ six months ago


Theresa May hard Brexit

Prime Minister Theresa May has spoken at length about her excitement at undertaking a process she described as a disaster earlier this year.

May told reporters that leaving the EU with a hard Brexit was ‘terribly exciting’, seemingly unaware that she described that process as ‘the worst possible outcome for Britain’ just over six months ago.

“Yes, I have changed my mind, because things have changed,” she admitted.

“It’s true, six months ago I said Brexit, and worse still hard Brexit, would be bad for this country, but now I have a much better job, and that job involves keeping Daily Mail readers happy and not giving any more ammunition to the likes of Nigel Farage.

“Whether I still think it’s a bad idea or not is irrelevant, it’s what we’re doing, and anyone who says we are doing it purely because I’m genuinely frightened about what the press might write about me if we didn’t, is lying.”

Brexit fan Simon Williams welcomed the speech, telling us, “It’s like I’ve been saying, you can look at a divorce as a horrific experience in which everyone loses something, or you can be excited about the new bedsit you’ll be living in, and start looking forward to all the takeaways you’ll be able to have.

“Fancy a pizza? I’ve got a voucher.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt

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